Cassian Baliarsingh

IIT Bombay alumnus Deepak Baghel recently recalled how he battled with suicidal thoughts during a low phase in his life when he was in college. In a bid to inspire his followers, the alumnus-turned-motivational speaker and entrepreneur shared what helped him overcome all his struggles and suicidal thoughts.

Speaking to Linkedln, he shared, “As an IITian, today I'm a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker, but in the past I've grappled with mental health challenges, even contemplating suicide once. However, seeing my father's photo in my mobile gallery halted me in my tracks.”

He continued, “Problem 1: The hostel warden locked my room because I couldn't afford the hostel fee, leaving me feeling deeply embarrassed in front of my peers. With no money in my account and my mother's salary delayed due to the financial year closing in 2015-16, I also had to arrange funds for my sister's medical college fees.”

“Problem 2: Failing a first-year course and retaking it in my fifth year was a blow to my confidence. A professor at IIT Bombay publicly criticized me, questioning how I could fail such a basic course when I came from a Govt. Hindi Medium school in M.P. I struggled to understand English questions for a year at IIT-B. The professor's words embarrassed me in front of over 200+ first-year students, leaving me holding back tears,” he further added.

He continued, “Problem 3: Another professor failed me due to a rigid Academic Reinforcement Program rule. My Moodle Account was disabled for six months, forcing me to handle all tasks offline, including course registration. Every professor I approached for physical signatures to enroll in courses questioned why I had previously failed. This constant embarrassment compounded my struggles.”

He further added, “I scored well in one of the courses, expecting to clear a course with an AB or AA grade. However, due to my disabled Moodle account, I missed the end sem exam after the professor changed the date last minute. Consequently, I failed the course again.”

“I felt unjustly treated by life. The weight of these challenges constantly haunted me, leaving me unable to share my pain with anyone. It wasn't the first time facing such adversity. Since 2004, similar problems have plagued my life, from being kicked out of school after 10th grade to being ousted from an IIT-B hostel room due to financial problems,” he stated.

“Then, in a fleeting 2-5 second moment, all problems vanished as I contemplated jumping off the 5th floor. But then, I saw my father's photo and remembered his struggle till he was brutally murdered by society in 2004,” he added.

He shared, “Whether your father is rich, poor, or disabled doesn't matter. What truly matters is having a father who matters a lot to you. Those 2-5 seconds, teetering between life and death, were defining for a suicidal person.”

“As the first IITian in my family and village, and I might be the last,” he concluded.

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