They’re ashamed of me’: Parents cancel Christmas celebrations over son’s ‘Lack of Achievements’

For most families, Christmas is a time of warmth, togetherness and quiet reassurance that one belongs. But for a 28-year-old man in Singapore, the season arrived not with celebration, but with silence and shame. In a deeply personal account shared online, he revealed how his family cancelled all Christmas gatherings not because of logistics or illness, but because they were embarrassed by his struggles, turning what should have been a moment of comfort into one of heartbreak.

He claimed his parents cancelled all Christmas family gatherings because they were embarrassed by his “lack of achievements” compared to his relatives.

Sharing his story on Reddit under the title “How do you manage high expectations from your family?”, the man said he grew up in a traditional, high-performing Chinese family where careers in law, medicine, finance and senior corporate roles were considered standard. According to him, many relatives are CEOs, founders or top executives, while even younger cousins hold prestigious, high-paying jobs.

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Career Setbacks and Growing Shame

The man revealed that he graduated with a low GPA, lost his first job earlier this year and has struggled to secure employment since. He added that a serious mistake at his former workplace contributed to the company’s shutdown, a situation later discussed publicly by the owner on podcasts, further deepening his embarrassment.

Parents ‘Snapped’ Before Christmas

“Ever since I was fired, there has been a significant change in my parents’ attitude,” he wrote, adding that they barely spoke to him. The situation escalated when his parents cancelled all planned Christmas gatherings, accusing him of being an embarrassment and saying they could not face relatives. They reportedly compared him to cousins who are doctors, senior executives or already buying homes and cars.

Mental Health Struggles

The man also shared that he has a highly successful older sibling, and constant comparisons have worsened his anxiety and depression, which he said began during university. He described feeling “hopeless” and deeply hurt by learning his parents were ashamed of him.

Social media users rallied around him, criticising his parents’ behaviour and calling for empathy and support rather than comparison.

The viral post has reignited conversations around family pressure, mental health and the heavy cost of measuring self-worth solely through success and status.